Of people and situations..

To me, its a logical analysis of my experiences thus far. But some may perceive this as a negative post. So be warned, before you dig in.

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Life depends on three pillars.. you, the people around you and the situation (or environment). Without confidence in yourself you are pretty much done. There's no debate there. Lets dwell on the other two.

It would be nice if one could have the right people around you, and be in great situations all the time. I dream of that sometimes. I'v heard many others do as well. Anyways, assuming you are of a stoic, steady heart and mind, and as always, life puts you at a fork where you have two choices:
A) Great situation, not so great people
B) Great people, not so great situation
What do you choose?

You may claim these are not mutually exclusive cases, but really, they are, almost 70 to 80 percent of the time. I had the choice of staying in a great situation - as technical director, master of my domain, established relationships in the industry, ensured of a good future; except, I stayed half the world away from almost everyone I trusted and loved. That's Exhibit A.

Or, I could go to the people I cared about, and risk entering a fiercely competetive, completely unknown industry, with colleagues I had only spoken with on the phone, unsure of the future. Exhibit B.

How does one choose? A comfortable situation is great. Many pine for it. But to me, its no use if you do not have people to share it with, or to turn to for advice, or comfort. And I'm not referring to a single person. You need friends to hang out with. You need family to appreciate and care for you.

On the other hand, even if you are in a tough spot, if you have the right people with you, those same people will see you through. Tough situations can be overcome. They may lead to other tough situations as well. But you end up winning because the synergy drives you on.

There's a more subtle distinction. Situations can always change for the better or the worse. Good situations can quickly become bad. Ask a stock market trader, or the star developer who's high-profile product crashed during its launch. But good people never turn bad. No matter what you do, they will stick by you.

And then there's the challenge and moral boost. I would rather have the "Yes I DID it" surge after overcoming a tough patch in life, and appreciating those who matter, rather than ponder "hmm. another decent day. Watched a movie, did shopping, food music, Good for me." before dozing off to sleep. But that's just me..

Its not an easy choice. Once in a while a person has to choose the situation over the people: you have compulsions and obligations that force you to take those decisions. You even have to go into a cyclic pattern. But in the long run, if you look around, those who gravitate towards their people are probably the ones with more smiles on their faces..

(p.s.: I would like to acknowledge Rahul, a close friend who was largely responsible - by sharing his experiences - and helping me realize these subtleties when I was taking my decisions)